“A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other”
Relationships can be defined in many ways, but one thing is for sure, we want to enjoy each other’s company, enjoy our own lives within the relationship, and for the relationship to have meaning with positive outcomes. But how do we define a romantic relationship when we find ourselves entering into one? How do we develop a relationship with the depth and love we are so passionately looking for and wanting to experience? The first step is to admit that this – the relationship – is what you want; you’ve been hardwired for this from birth. The second step is to have a good look at yourself to discover how you define yourself and any limiting beliefs that aren’t going to add to the beauty and growth of the relationship.
All relationships require some sort of depth to succeed, and none more so than the romantic relationship. We can think we have depth and actually have none or we can search within ourselves for the depth we actually are and bring that depth to the table of love to be feasted upon. Without the depth of self, love is nothing but a thought and shallow in its expression; how can a relationship endure any hardship within that shallowness – it can’t and won’t. But it is during these hardships that depth can be discovered and the relationship exhumed from the ashes and reignited.
The only way a deep sense of love can be presented within a relationship is for each person to discover their own depth and understanding of themselves, which takes a bit of effort, a time of separation and aloneness; to use this time of aloneness and rediscover the self that actually exists, in contrast to the mask-wearing self. The ‘mask-wearer’ will always hide their depth behind a wall of fear. At some stage the mask has to be wrenched off if that person is to live in all honesty and without fear; the expression of love will come easier and more intimate as love recognizes itself within.
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough”
Within a successful relationship, one or both persons will have developed a sense of self that is confident, welcoming and open to discovering change; it only needs one to make the change which has a flow-on effect to the other. The relationship becomes dynamic, purposeful with positive outcomes but not without its trials, which are normal and provide the opportunity for growth and change. Mutual respect for the time given to self-reflection is honoured; knowing full well that this time of separation and distance is fleeting in comparison to the quality time spent together. The depth in which we understand and love ourselves will be the benchmark in which the relationship will experience the freedom and passion of love.
Finally, here’s something to think about, contemplate and understand: the freedom experienced within a relationship is a gift it can only give to itself. Freedom is a gift not experienced by many in relationships these days; the freedom experienced within each person, as a part of their internal confidence and self-reliance, will be only one of the gifts of love to the other. In the final analysis of a successful relationship, it rests upon each person discovering their own individual way of expressing the love that they are and offering it as a unique gift at the banquet table of the relationship; know thyself is bottom line.
Love is the being in each of us which in turn produces feelings of joy, happiness, togetherness, intimacy, abundance, and trust. Having an awareness of being love promotes healthy trust, forgiveness, mutual respect, and interdependence (as opposed to co-dependence), which is far more productive and honouring toward each other – enabling each partner to be their authentic, loving, transparent and creative self within the relationship.
The awareness of being love with each other promotes, quite naturally, the ability to be love for each other when the going gets tough. The ability to serve and nurture becomes the dominant focus without interfering with the others journey of life and independence.
The Truth of being love is that it is enduring and can never fail.