Life takes some interesting turns and twists while we journey through it. I know from my own experience that life is pretty damned exciting…even if I dislike whats going on at the time. But you see, that’s the point of living this life. Discovery and excitement.
Discovering what, you may ask? For me, its been about discovering a sense of Truth. From a very young age I was always interested in this thing we have to come know as “God”!!! Being bought up as a Catholic and later on, investigating and trying out other facets of the Christian belief (Baptists, AOG, and other “Happy/Clappy”, “tongues speaking”, “faith healing” types), I must admit to being fairly lost in it all. And all the promises of freedom, love and happiness were cut short because of the way I expressed the freedom I thought I had. I’m not blaming anyone, but it was bloody hard work and emotionally draining at the time. But I think many of us have been there when the chips are down and we are looking for some sort of answer.
But my interest in the Bible and the “so-called” Truth of it never left me. So much so, I’ve studied it for years. From a holistic counsellors point of view it became even more important to me because I was and still am working with people who are seeking answers to their particular issues…and some of them (the issues) are quite dangerous.
Over the last few years, I have been challenged by many clients. Such wonderful people they are as well. I have also been challenged by my partner, which has never been an easy thing to accept. I think we all know what this is like…at least at sometime in our lives. But the challenge kept coming through over and over again. The challenge was “Be more Authentic”! And here I was thinking and believing that I was being authentic and just being me. I had been fairly relaxed up until this point.
Anyway, one thing has led to another and I have gone digging in different books and reading things that again were challenging me in the same way. In one book I read this quote, “Man is man and God is man”. To say that it jolted me is an understatement. So I personalised it. I wrote in my journal “Tony is Tony and God is Tony”. I stared at it and began to understand the “authenticity” of that statement. Clarity rang through like a piercing bell. You see I’ve never believed that we are God as such but I’ve always wanted to now what Jesus talked about when he said. “Father and I are One”. There are many trains of thought that say and assert that we are God. I find that hard to believe…but Ive known that our thoughts but more importantly our feelings are the very things that we create life with. Everything starts with a thought and if it is coupled together with a passionate feeling…we have the ingredients for creation. So in a way we are gods (small “g”) but not God (big “G”).
Still, I go back to what I wrote in the journal, “Tony is Tony and God is Tony”. Try it if you like. _____________ (insert your name) is ______________ (insert your name) and God is _______________ (insert your name). I don’t know about you, but it meant a lot to me. So, true to form I went back to the Bible, but with a different way of reading it. I was amazed at what I found. The 10 Commandments for instance were not the same. Instead of reading them with a “Thou shalt not….” I found that they actually mean “Thou cant…”!!! That was different, but it meant that those commandments were something else again and not commandments as we know them from an “egoic” or logical point of view. Then…I read the Sermon on the Mount, The Lords Prayer, and a few other scriptures and the meanings were totally different. I began to see that the way to authenticity was understanding that within the Bible are certain texts that show 100% how to be “God is Tony”. God is God and Man is definitely Man…but God is Man. The biggest paradox of them all…and it all makes total sense. But it also means that we can very easily set ourselves up against God. We make war within ourselves about different things and war against God. The odds are stacked against man I’m afraid…but thats a good thing. Look at the mess we have created so far.
In reading books on meditation (and practicing it daily) and a practitioner of Consciousness and Awareness, I have discovered that I can become “One” with the “God is Tony”. And in many ways I have discovered an authenticity I was never aware of. I have also discovered a peace and love that I most definitely wasnt aware of.
Well, I’m going to leave this here and do some more work. I just wanted to share this with you and hope that you get something out of it. Thanks for reading!